~ I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is nothing like having to social distance under a federally mandated quarantine during a global pandemic crisis while under the thumb of a corrupt, military industrial complex regime to really kickstart your creativity.
~ In March of 2020, my calendar was chock full of public events and gigs that I was so excited about. Additionally, I had started a collaborative project with an incredible writer and tarot reader - a dream project - and had begun a personal project that I had wanted to get off the ground for two years. I finally had a schedule full of the kind of work I love to do, as well as the ever-illusive, external validation which I no longer chased - but appreciated. Of course, we all know what would become of all those plans - my story isn’t unique or special in that regard - no one had a March (or April, May or….let’s just say the whole year so far, really) like the one they had planned.
Created to create ~ there is power in connection to the material and the ethereal. Watercolor on paper by Jane Elizabeth Almirall, 2020.
~ I started social distancing early in March, and when Kansas first went into lockdown later in the month, something strange happened. It is not easy to admit this, but there was a part of me that felt relief that my public work engagements would be postponed. I was exhausted and running on fumes and had very much over-extended myself in early 2020. Perhaps it was me coming from a lack-based mentality, I never wanted to say no to an opportunity out of fear that it could be the only one I’d ever get…and now I HAD to cancel things. It took all the pressure off of me and gave me a chance to catch my breath and prioritize my time in a way that previously felt unavailable to me.. I learned how to work with my creative flow.
~ I want to acknowledge something here, and I share this with empathy and sensitivity for those who have had an extremely rough last few months, which is that my situation at home is both unusual and very fortunate. My husband and I already worked from a shared studio at home for the last few years, and thankfully he has been able to continue working and supporting us. For the most part, my working schedule and studio hours changed very little - the biggest challenge was having my children home from school - but I was able to work around their new at-home learning routine with my studio hours (luckily, I paint with watercolor - a medium which requires that you work in layers, so lots of little breaks) and shift my tarot readings from in-person to remote and online. That said, there were some big things which changed for me, resulting from the removal of distractions and my favorite procrastination strategies. The isolation pushed me into a realm of imagination, creativity and self-exploration I had never been to before.
The shadow aspect of the divine feminine, destruction is necessary for creation - breaking down old paradigms, habits and narratives - seeing past illusions. Watercolor on paper by Jane Elizabeth Almirall, 2020.
~ I started intentionally channeling my art in 2017, but I had no control over when, where or what would come through to me - and I didn’t even know such a thing was possible. A dear friend recommended that I get some instruction in this area, and in January of 2020, I took an intensive channeling workshop with Dr. Matt Turner of Be Love Healings and learned how to focus and direct my ability to channel. A word on that here -everyone has the ability to channel. I believe as children, we come into this world fully in connection with channel, but many of us lose touch with that tool (for one reason or a lot of reasons - shame and fear are usually involved) and when that happens, like an unused muscle, it atrophies. After reconnecting to my own ability and gaining some techniques for using it with purpose, I saw the lockdown as an opportunity to strengthen my ability and be of service with it.
~ In order to do this, I had to stop what I was doing and get still. The thing about creative work that I got wrong for years, was that I always approached it in a very masculine way. That is, I felt like I had to be constantly producing and making things - actively working - or I didn’t feel like I was ‘doing’ anything. Additionally, I didn’t feel like I was worth anything in a society that prized grinding productivity (along with having a number of side-hustles) unless I was working my proverbial dick off. What I misunderstood, was that for creativity to flow, there needs to be a balance of both masculine and feminine energy (like Yin and Yang). The feminine energies in creativity require rest and stillness, to better facilitate being in a receptive state. In order to tap into the cosmic consciousness and channel, I had to put myself in a state of receiving - once I figured this out, I found I wasn’t getting burned out on work anymore. It literally took a global pandemic and nationwide shut-down to force me out of my antiquated and skewed beliefs around what working as an artist (and difficult-to-pin-down-with-a-label practitioner of esoteric offerings) should be like.
Rest and being in a state of receiving for this expecting sylph. Watercolor on paper by Jane Elizabeth Almirall, 2020
~ I am so grateful for the timing of these things, which gave me the space and tools that I needed to remove my own judgements, meet my fears head-on, and get right with myself. I learned - after years of believing that I was lazy, flighty and…too mercurial - that I actually have an excellent work ethic, when I love my work, and work in my flow. So, while I was bummed to cancel all of the beautiful events that were planned for March, I am thankful for being put in a ‘time-out’, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to rest otherwise - and I would have missed a vital lesson. Taking the time to rest and make space to receive changed the way that I create for the better. Channeling art, tarot readings and creating from a place that exists outside of myself is so fulfilling and joy-bringing - i’m excited every day that I get to do work that I love.